It's Time to STOP Doubting Ourselves
Think about the last time you were in a work situation where you were handed a new assignment or were given a promotion. Did you think to yourself, “oh boy, I am in over my head on this one.” Or maybe “This is it – I can’t do this and now everyone’s going to know I’m a failure.”
And what happened?
My guess is, with some hard work, persistence, support etc., you did it. Right?
Why am I writing about this now? I have sense that if you’re reading this, we have had similar experiences and doubts in ourselves.
Imposter syndrome: The persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.
In her article Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, author Gill Corkindale states that Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence
I have known for a long time that fear of failure is a HUGE motivator for me. I think it always has been. For example:
University – I wasn’t a great student. But in university I knew I couldn’t goof around anymore. Especially as my parents were paying for me. To make it even harder on myself, I took a Business minor. To avoid failure, I worked my butt off and studied all the time. I graduated with high marks and had way better marks than High School.
Sprint Canada – Everyone seemed smarter, more talented and better looking than me. Crap, I should have stayed where I was. Fast forward 15 years and I can look back on an extremely successful career and made many great friends along the way
KPMG – What am I doing?!?! These people are smart and established professionals. Those 3 years turned out to be extremely rewarding and I Iearned a lot about business and professional services. Most importantly, I started to get a sense that I was more capable, adaptable and resourceful than I gave myself credit.
Envision Group & SBD Growth Strategies – What do I have to offer that could help others? What credibility do I have? This ‘experiment’ isn’t going to work and I will have to swallow my pride and get a real job again. I am not an expert…am I?
While I have been on my own for 5 years, just over 3 years ago Pat Lipovski, Founder & CEO of the Envision Group, invited me to come to Houston to help with leadership training for an oil and gas client. I am 51 years old and I am now having ‘holy shit’ moments constantly.
Um, I can’t co-facilitate leadership training!?!
Pat just called on me to say something!! @%$! Okay, just relax.
1 on 1 coaching!?! These poor people.
I am starting year 4 with Pat and the client in Texas and Pat’s probably now wondering if I will ever shut up (during the training anyway)! I REALLY enjoy facilitating workshops and I may enjoy 1 on 1 coaching even more. It is so energizing and rewarding. And while I cursed Pat for putting me in those situations (like A LOT), I wouldn’t have grown in my capabilities and confidence if that jack ass hadn’t basically MADE me do it. (Thanks Pat. And sorry for calling you a jack ass)
My point:
You are smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit.
Think about all the times you felt like you were in over your head and made out ok. You can do it again.
We grow the most when we are taken out of our comfort zone. Always look for ways to challenge yourself.
My advice:
Think about the times you overcame challenges. Recall what you did and give yourself credit. Seriously, cut yourself some slack and recognize your accomplishments. Do this daily, weekly, monthly whatever. Just make time to look back and acknowledge ALL the good stuff you do.
Commit to intentionally getting better. Read articles. Watch videos. Read books. Invest time in YOU.
Work with a Business Coach. While this seems self-serving, I wish I had thought about (or known about) the benefits of working with someone as my coach years ago. Stop trying to push a big rock up a steep hill. I’ve tried that and there is an easier way.
Stop beating yourself up and give yourself credit for your accomplishments.
Start, or continue, on your plan to get better. Not tomorrow…Today!
You got this!